PETER PAN SYNDROME
In the story of Peter Pan, the story written by J.M. Barrie, the reader is transported to Never Never Land, where the essence of childhood, the wonder and the magic, is captured forever in the character of the eternal child, Peter Pan. Childhood is magical. The optimism of youth is full of light and the excitement of possibilities. We can be anything. I used to pretend to be an astronaut. I pretended to be Asto Boy (yeah I am that old). I pretended to be a cowboy. I pretended to be a famous athlete, medaling in the Olympics.
But, I also knew this was pretend. The real wonder, the real magic came when I was able to make my dreams, real; when I rode a real horse, when I got to view the stars through a real telescope, when I practiced diving and swimming and entered competitions.
I am a member of the first generation to be raised with the television. I am a member of the first generation to be deeply affected by our obsession with entertainment. Humans have always enjoyed being entertained. Long ago we sat around fires in the evening and told stories to each other. Some of the stories were about real things that happened to us - the successful hunt, the interesting encounter. Some of these stories were exaggerated to sound more exciting. Some were just plain made up. Later, we developed theater and other forms of large-scale entertainment. But, one thing about these forms of entertainment is that they supported our collective world view. They upheld our moral values. They taught us proper behavior and helped us explore the consequences of negative behavior. Greek drama is a good example of exploring how a bad decision can have horrible consequences. The great Hindu epic, the Mahabharata, also explores the consequences of actions over long periods of time.
Early television also provided ethical entertainment. Many of the shows I watched as a child taught moral lessons. "Star Trek" is a good example. Gene Roddenberry intended for his creation to explore values. It is significant that this program featured the first interracial kiss, as well as the first significantly mixed race cast. But, somewhere in the 1980's things began to change. Programs like "He-Man" featured aggressive, violence ultra-men, who fought enemies but seemed to have no depth, emotion, mercy or love. "Rah!!! He-Man!!!" Young boys began to roar and posture. And hate.
Today violence and killing are entertainment. We thrill to ever more violent and bloody murders of faceless stereotypes. It's all a game. But that game is spilling over into life. Our youth spend so much time playing video games and watching "reality" TV. They grow up in a virtual reality. And that virtual world is subjective and personally programable. "Have it your way."
On social media we can be what ever we want to be. What ever I used to pretend to be as a child, I can be in virtual reality on social media. I can pretend to be a prince of some small state in India. And everyone will call be by my social media name and treat me like a prince. But, what am I in the real world? What is the real world?
So, while I am being a prince on the Internet, I am failing in school and unable to find a job. I have begun to fall through the cracks. But, as long as Mom and Dad, or my friends, or free Wi-Fi give me access to the Internet, I can still be a prince. But, now I am a homeless failure. But, I am still a prince on the Internet. So, what is real? Reality is not entertaining. Reality is not fun. Reality is painful. And now I am angry, because I am a prince and people are treating me like a pauper. So now what? What do I do in the virtual world when someone gets in my way? I get into a virtual SUV and shoot everyone with a high powered rifle. So that should solve all my objective problems as well. Right?
So we have Sandy Hook, we have San Bernadino. Selfish, self absorbed subjectively virtual people whose objective reality has crashed in on them, come crashing into our objective reality.
San Bernadino... three gunmen storm into a center and kill 14 people. The two people in a black SUV are killed by police. Then we focus on their names and possible ethnic and religious backgrounds. Then we join the entertainment frenzy as reporters and camera men swarm like cockroaches over the couples' apartment, with scenes of childrens' toys and family photos. Then, we forget, the original 9/11 reports said there were three shooters. What is real? Do we really know any more?
Fourteen people are really dead. Two people in the SUV are really dead. What else do we really know and what else can we trust to be real?
Peter Pan has Tinkerbell sprinkle fairy dust over the world and we all enter Never Never Land, where we are forever children. Virtual, eternal, unreal. Pan is locked in an eternal battle with Captain Hook. Hook is that ever present reminded of objective reality, that call to grow up, to be responsible, to follow rules, to do ones duty, to think of others. Pan is free, he does as he pleases, he is irresponsible and refuses to grow up.
We love Pan. We hate Hook.
We crave the innocence of childhood. But our childhoods are no longer really innocent. They are filled with violence and pain. We retreat ever deeper into Never Never Land. And we cannot cope with the real world any more.
CHRISTOPER ROBIN
A.A. Milne also wrote a book about childhood and adulthood, "Winnie the Pooh." Pooh's best friend is Christopher Robin, a real boy. Winnie and his friends, Piglet, Eeor, Tiger, Roo and Owl are Christopher Robin's imaginary friends. The old cartoons always start with the toys and then move to the animation of the characters. Through his friends, Robin explores problems and morals. And when he grows up, he actually grows up. We know that he is now living in the real world, but that the 100 acre wood, where his imaginary friends live, will always be there when he needs them.
Such is the role of pretend and imagination I understood from my own experiences. Pretend helped me learn, but as I began to gain confidence in real life, I began to understand that my life was in the objective real world, and that the virtual world was still there to explore possibilities, practice real life scenarios, understand moral dillemnas, and contemplate consequences of actions. It is still a valuable tool in my life.
But too many of us are not Christopher Robin. We are instead, Peter Pan. And that obsession with rebelling against adulthood, responsibility and duty has left us with a total inability to cope.
REALITY
What is real today? We need to gain an understanding of what we are doing to ourselves. We are brainwashing ourselves into a virtual world of violence and adrenalin. We are losing ourselves. We have become zombies, passively spending all of our time in front of screens, and finding reality to be empty and hopeless. But, we have made reality empty and hopeless by spending no time in it. How do we get back to the real? Good question.
Islam has many answers. First of all, we must pray five times a day. That is no longer just a break from work to reconnect with Allah, but a break from unreality. We must really pray, make real movements, make real du'a. We cannot phone it in, or do it on line. We have to unplug from the virtual and reconnect with the real. Take advantage of this time.
We can also work on our tajweed and memorize Qur'an. Every moment we do is time we spend in reality. We can also study history and tafsir of Qur'an. Anything we do to bring us together in real time and space, and not on the internet is time spent in reality. Don't just go on Online groups or classes, go to real classes, in time and space. Spend time in jamaa. It is essential.
Never let anyone tell you not to go to masaajid or talk to anyone. They are trying to brainwash you with something. The truth does not require techniques to teach. Qad tabayyana al rushdu min al ghay. The truth shines above any error. It shines, rushdu. You will recognize it if you ask Allah to guide you. Anyone who tells you not to listen to so and so, or that such and such is a kafir, so don't listen to them, is trying to brainwash you. A real sheikh will give you dalil, and explain why another's position is not sound.
Anyone who tells you not to be in jamaa with other Muslims is not of us. We are commanded by Allah to pray in jamaa and to seek shura, consultation, with one another. This helps ensure we are not misled by Shaytan. Shaytan isolates us and then whispers lies in our ears. Anyone who tells you to stay away from the Muslims is from Shaytan. Always consult with others who have real knowledge.
Real knowledge is not just memorization of Qur'an or Hadith, it is understanding as well. And that understanding must be based on sound methodology or minhaj, and on dalil. Beware of weak minaahij that are not supported by Qur'an and Sunnah. Just because some one says they follow the Salaf does not mean they follow the Qur'an and Sunnah. Read original material by our classic shuyuk. Do not get your deen from tele evangelists. Many of these Internet shuyuk have only one year of Arabic classes, or one year of a course in Saudi Arabia. Or they have a degree, but not in Fiqh or Usool al-Fiqh or Shariah, but instead, in Dawa. They sound great, but when you listen in depth, you will discover they are misguiding you. If they are, then a real sheikh will be able to go through their words point by point and give you the reasons for their mistakes.
But, most of all, seek Allah's guidance, and mean it. Do not seek to seen by others, or to feel superior. If they tell you you are superior or of the "saved sect" and that you are better than others, they are false. Kibriyya is the sin of Shaytan. Anyone who says, I am better than you, is of Shaytan. We are all human and the only thing that makes us better is taqwa, that clinging to rope of Allah. And only Allah is the judge of that, not us. Have taqwa of Allah, cling to Him as if you are child clinging to its parent, cling to Him for dear life, because He is the source and sole savior of your life.
Allah is real! Deen of Islam is real! Stop this virtual Islam, leave it! Come back to Real Islam!
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